


A Broken King

by prxmqueen



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Hurt Chloe Decker, Hurt Lucifer, Lucifer (TV) Season/Series 04, Sad Chloe Decker, Sad Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:40:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24262987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prxmqueen/pseuds/prxmqueen
Summary: My version of what happened in S4 E7, the scene where Lucifer admits to Chloe that he broke Julian's back. In this version, Chloe speaks up. She realizes that he's too far gone for her and that it's better for them if they both move on. Angsty.
Relationships: Chloe Decker & Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Eve/Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)
Comments: 40
Kudos: 206





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first entry ever. Yikes. I've always loved this scene, so I hope you enjoy what I believe should've happened.

Chloe had never been angrier at her partner than in that moment.

Lucifer sat across from her desk in his usual seat, Eve standing behind him. Her small hands were kneading into his large shoulders, as if he were a king who just returned from a stressful day of battle and Eve were his servant. His eyes were closed, but Chloe couldn’t tell if he was just relaxed or trying to focus on something that was on his mind. Judging from his jaw that kept flexing and his giant fists squeezing tight, Chloe didn’t think he looked too relaxed. And, quite honestly, she didn’t care at this point. Because of his outburst, he had ruined any potential further investigation on Tiernan, which put their case at a dead-end. She didn’t feel sorry for him. She was pissed at him. She had been frustrated before with Lucifer, many times, but this time just felt like a genuine defeat.

“Tiernan killed Sam, but we have no proof,” she said, throwing one last hook in the air for him to grab onto, before he truly disappointed her.

“So?” He muttered back. Eve moved her fingers to his temple and started massaging there.

“So, Tiernan’s going to double his legal defense now that you’ve hulked out on him.”

Lucifer scoffed, looking up at her for the first time since they got to the precinct. “Well, devil is as devil does.”

Chloe looked down at him and let out a light laugh, letting her arms flop to her sides, refusing to believe that he was acting this way. What happened to you? she thought.

“What about that other guy? Ponyboy?” Eve spoke up with her high childlike voice that Chloe didn’t enjoy in the slightest.

“Already posted bail,” she said between her teeth, her jaw locking and unlocking out of pure irritation and annoyance.

Eve got a sudden concerned look in her eyes. She glanced down at Lucifer and bent down to ask, “Does that mean we don’t get to torture anybody? Babe, you promised…”

That’s it, Chloe thought. She’d had enough of this bullshit. “Lucifer, come with me. Now.” She walked past Eve and into an empty interrogation room, not bothering to check and see if he followed her. She stood in the corner and stared at herself in the mirror, waiting to hear him shut the door. It was late at night and everyone had already gone home for the night, so they were safe to have a conversation in here. She really just wanted a place out of Eve’s snoopy earshot. The girl was constantly glued to his side, awaiting his beck and call. Chloe hated it. But if she had to be honest with herself, she wasn’t sure anymore if she was angrier at her for degrading herself for him or angry at Lucifer for choosing her. She pushed the thought aside.

The door closed and Chloe turned to her partner, who she had never been more upset with in her four years of working with him. “Tell me what the hell is going on with you,” she demanded. Her hands were fisted at her sides, and she had control herself from pacing like a madwoman. She focused on his familiar brown eyes that didn’t seem to want to hold hers. They were looking at the wall behind her.

“Just figured out who I am, that’s all,” he said, quietly.

Chloe shook her head. “No. No, Lucifer. This isn’t who you are.” 

He rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to argue, but Chloe cut him off.

“Lucifer, I’ve seen you at your deepest and darkest points. I know it took me some time to understand, but I know who you are. You’re good. What happened? Is it her? Is she making you into this person?” Chloe couldn’t stop herself from asking.

Lucifer laughed, loudly, and looked up at the ceiling as he rolled his eyes again, enraging Chloe. “This isn’t about bloody Eve, Detective! I’m just fully embracing who I am! You see, I am this person. I am the bad guy. It’s in my nature. Which is why I need to punish people.” He took his flask out his jacket pocket and took a large swig from it.

“I punish people too, Lucifer. And we both know that there is a right way and a wrong way to do it.” Her chest was going up and down from the large breaths she was taking now.

“And what makes you the judge of right and wrong, Detective?” He had a smile on his face one, an eviler one that Chloe had never seen directed at her.

She took a deep breath and held his eyes. “Because I’m a cop, and it’s the law.”

“Well, I’m the Devil!” He shouted, taking one short step towards her. His eyes flared up in red flames, flickering beyond the surface. Surprisingly, Chloe didn’t jump out of fear. It just infuriated her more. “I ruled Hell—”

“You’re not in Hell anymore!” She cut him off, using the loudest voice she’d ever given him. She could almost feel her own eyes turning a solid bloodred, darker than his. She stormed towards him until they were only a foot apart, both of their chests heaving out of anger towards one another. She could feel the heat rising from his body.

Lucifer stared down at her with wide eyes, almost looking shocked that she didn’t back down.

“You’re here, Lucifer! On Earth! You may be the Devil in Hell, but here you’re just Lucifer Morningstar.” She felt her eyes getting watery, and she tried with all her might to keep the tears from spilling, but they began to stream down her hot cheeks. “You’re Lucifer. My partner. My best friend. What happened to that guy? I miss him.” Chloe stopped herself so she could control the tears coming out of her eyes, but her gaze still never left his. They were so close, she had to crane her neck to look up at him.

After a moment, Lucifer opened his mouth and said, “That guy simply realized that he was sick of pretending to be the good guy. It was time to quit playing games and to embrace the person I was born to be. A punisher. Which is why…” He paused for a second, looking away from her and up to the ceiling, then back down to her. Chloe watched as the bone of his jaw flexed under his scruff. His eyes were still filled with red flames. He took another deep breath. “Which is why I broke Julian’s back,” he whispered.

Chloe gasped. Her eyes widened and a breath caught in her lungs. She didn’t know what to say. For the first time since she’d known him, he felt like a stranger. His warm frame and friendly face didn’t hold any of the previous comfortability it had once before. In that moment, it felt like he was just someone that she used to know. It felt like all those days spent together, working and bonding, were nothing. She didn’t know who this man standing before her was. This wasn’t Lucifer. This wasn’t her best friend. This was a stranger. She was afraid of this man. More afraid than she’d ever been of his devil-face. This was truly his lowest point, and Chloe knew that she wasn’t going to be able to pull him out of it.

Lucifer continued to wait for her response, but tears just built again in her eyes. She looked down, giving in to the overwhelming sob that took over her body. She didn’t want to cry in front of him. Didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. But her body shook anyway and her shoulders slumped.

“I’m done,” she whispered, barely audible, but she knew he heard her.

“Detective, I—”

“No.” He didn’t deserve a chance to explain himself. That privilege was long gone. “We’re done, Lucifer. I’m done trying. I can’t do this anymore.” Another tear streamed down her cheek, but she forced herself to look up at him one last time. His eyes weren’t red anymore. Chloe was confused as to when they changed back to their comforting chocolate brown, but she ignored it. “I’m not sure what you need right now, Lucifer. And I don’t think I’m the one who can give it to you anymore.” She took another deep breath to calm herself down. “I hope she can help you.”

“Detective…”

“But more than that, I hope one day that you realize on your own the man you actually are,” she finished. She took one last deep gaze into those eyes. She had fallen in love with those eyes. They had captured her attention from day one and kept her wrapped around his finger ever since. All the comments they whispered into each other’s’ ears, the soft touches of comfort, the urges to fix each other’s problems and be there for one another…it all felt gone now. He wasn’t hers anymore. Was he ever mine? She thought. He needed someone else. Someone who could better help him understand who he was, who he still is deep down under his hard exterior. It was just never meant to be, and Chloe should have realized that earlier. She reached up and touched his cheek, trying to remember the way his spiky stubble brushed her hand, tickling the palm. “Goodbye, Lucifer.” She pulled herself away from him and began to walk past him to the door.

“Chloe,” he said. It almost sound choked, like the word was supposed to come out sooner but caught in his throat.

Even at the rare mention of her real name, Chloe refused to turn around. She walked out of the interrogation room, keeping her head down to avoid Eve’s snoopy eyes. She hustled over to her desk to grab her purse and keys, flipping off the light switch, leaving the precinct only illuminated by the city glaring up through the windows.

Just as the elevator doors opened up to her, she saw the movement of Lucifer’s body run out of the room. He looked like he was about to say her name again, or maybe something else important, but he was too late. They locked eyes just as the elevator doors shut.


	2. A Broken King: Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer's POV after the conversation he has with Chloe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all so much for the great feedback on the first chapter! I appreciate the comments! I decided to make this one just a lil longer because it's in Lucifer's POV after the conversation, and ya know, ~angst~. This chapter includes some elements and scenes that are present in 4x08! Please, let me know what you think again! Always down for a part three lmao ;)

Lucifer ran several stoplights on his way back to the penthouse, ignoring the cars honking at him and the middle fingers shoved out windows. Eve squealed with delight and clapped her hands as he took a turn a bit too fast. He squeezed the wheel a bit harder. Normally, he was fine with his girlfriend's innocent little quirks, but right now it annoyed him to no end. If it were the Detective sitting in his passenger seat instead, she would've scolded him for driving so carelessly. Lucifer would've told her to calm down or make some snarky comment about her overly cautious driving habits, but now the car ride was silent. He shoved the thoughts away, worried he'd wreck the car if he thought about it too much.

Eve must've taken a hint that something heavy happened between Lucifer and Chloe, either by seeing Chloe storm away with a blotchy face and wet cheeks or by watching Lucifer chase after her like he had forgotten to tell her something. Either way, she was silent when Lucifer told her that they were heading back to the penthouse.

Since it was a Friday night, Lux was packed. People were lined up and down the block waiting to get in. Usually, Lucifer would be up for a wild night of getting rip-roaring drunk (or as drunk as he could get with his supernatural metabolism) and taking random people up to his room to have sex with him and Eve. But tonight wasn't one of those nights, and he hoped that Eve wouldn't suggest it. 

He tossed his keys to the valet driver without saying a word. Eve hustled out of the car after him, doubling her steps to match his long strides. He felt her small hand try to sneak its way into his palm to thread her fingers through his. He allowed it, but didn't grip it as much as much as he usually did. He let his hand hang there un-moving in hers, like a corpse's would. They made their way through the crowd to the elevator. Lucifer kept his head down at the random comments thrown at him, some asking if he and Eve were wanting company tonight, others from his staff members asking how he was doing tonight. He was usually polite and responded, but he just kept his eyes on the ground, making sure not to step on any feet or bump anyone's shoulder. That was very unlike Lucifer. Usually, people got out of his way. He was always the center of attention, no matter where he went, and that’s how he liked it. But now he felt small. Unseen. He hated feeling that way. He never felt that way. 

The ride up the elevator had an awkward silence between them, which had never been an issue before. They’d normally be able to strike up any conversation about something trivial or flirty, but right now Lucifer didn’t want to talk. Talking would lead to Eve asking about his conversation with the Detective, and that was the last thing he wanted to do, not to keep it from Eve, but to keep his mind from thinking about Chloe. He just needed a distraction, something to keep her off his mind, because internally, he felt like demolishing his penthouse and screaming at the top of his lungs.

Almost to the top floor, he began to notice Eve’s fingers begin to slowly drift up his hand and wrist, lightly scraping her nails on the tendons there. They stood side by side, the fabric of his suit brushing her shoulder slightly. Lucifer glanced over at her in the corner of his eye. She was breathing quietly and staring directly at her reflection in the elevator doors, waiting for them to open, or maybe waiting for Lucifer to decide what he wanted to do.

A distraction, Lucifer thought. That’s what he wanted.

As soon as the elevator doors opened to the penthouse, he grabbed Eve by the thighs and wrapped her around his front. Her legs locked behind his lower back and she pushed her body further into him, moaning. Lucifer locked his lips to hers as he walked to the couch, not bothering with the bed. He let forced his tongue to slip past her lips and he tasted her. She tasted like flowers. Like roses and gardenia and jasmine, the exact same way she tasted in the Garden. Like fresh air. While brushing his tongue against hers, his brain couldn’t help but notice that she didn’t taste anything like vanilla or honey, like the soft and sweet taste and smell of his Detective.

He stopped himself. Not his anything.

He grabbed Eve’s waist and placed her beneath him on the leather, rather roughly, but nothing new for the two of them. Eve squealed again. He tried to ignore it. His hands pushed her shirt up, feeling the way the round curve of her hips moved into her soft stomach. He palmed her shapely breasts, feeling the way her nipple hardened instantly under his touch. He was so used to this body, so used to touching her; so why did it feel so strange? Why did he unexpectedly want to find a leaner, longer body? One whose muscles, from constantly being on her feet, poked through her abdomen and created soft shadows along her torso? Smaller, more petite breasts and sharper hipbones that he could grab onto? 

While Eve began to push her hands through his hair as he grinded his hips into her, he buried his face in her hair to try and clear his mind. But Eve’s tropical, coconut scented shampoo overwhelmed his senses and assaulted him. It was nothing like the strawberry shampoo that coated the Detective’s hair and wafted around him anytime they stood by each other. He growled, yanking his head away. Eve moaned again in response.

Her long nails scraped along his scalp and back, and Lucifer hated that too. He hated that her fingers weren’t longer, that the touches weren’t softer, and that her nails weren’t shorter. Everything was wrong. One last attempt to distract himself, he pressed his hand to her center.

“Lucifer,” she moaned, directly into his ear.

That felt wrong. Almost offensive. It wasn’t the voice he wanted to hear. It wasn’t her voice. It wasn’t Chloe underneath him. He wanted Chloe.

He pushed himself away from Eve in a sudden motion, standing up from the couch. He stared at her as she lied there with wide eyes, waiting for him, like a servant. He hated that. He didn’t want that, nor did he ever. He felt disgusted with himself, more disgusted than usual. He walked to the bar to pour himself a heavy drink.

“Luce? What’s wrong?” She asked, hopping up and following after him. He hated when she called him that and wished he would’ve told her that sooner.

He didn’t answer, because he didn’t want to. He almost wanted to tell her to just leave. Leave him here alone to sit and rot with his thoughts, like the piece of shit he was. He deserved that. No, he thought. He deserved much more. He deserved to go back to Hell where he belonged, among wretched demons and the damned souls of humanity's worst.

He gulped down the entire glass of whiskey in one large sip. How he for once wanted to feel the slight deeper burn of the alcohol down his throat that occurred when she was around. It was once a nuisance to him, but now it was something he missed terribly. He filled the glass to the top again and breathed in the hot liquid.

“What did you two talk about?” Eve said quietly behind him.

Lucifer set the drink down and shut his eyes. He knew he was going to have to tell her what was bothering him. Not for the sake of saving their relationship, but just to show a little decency to her.

“Luce?” She got closer to him and placed her small hand on his back. It landed exactly on his shoulder-blade, where Chloe had touched him four years ago. Even though the scar was gone, the memory came flooding back to him. He remembered the fear that so blatantly showed in his eyes, fear that was tied to eons of neglect and abuse. He felt naked in front of her, scared. But she held his eyes gently and whispered that it was okay. That she wasn’t going to hurt him. That vivid memory followed him everywhere.

“What’s wrong?” Eve asked again.

Lucifer turned to face her, staring down into her large eyes, like he was trying to tell her to leave so he wouldn’t have to. He was trying to find something in her. He saw a friend from the past, a very good friend. He saw a body, someone who knew exactly what made him tick, and vice versa. He saw one of the funniest, most beautiful and kind people he’d ever met. But it wasn’t her. Lucifer internalized that thought now, instead of pushing it away.

“Look, Luce. I don’t know what she said to you. But I do know who you are. You are the same man that I met all those years ago back in the Garden. You’re still the Lucifer that I fell in love with.” She reached for him, but Lucifer backed up against his piano.

“You see, that’s just it, Eve. When I met you, I was careless. Selfish. I didn’t come and tempt you away from Adam because I felt sorry for you; I did it to get back at my father. I don’t like the man that I used to be. I hate him. You’ve fallen in love with the Lucifer from the past, and I’m not him anymore.” He breathed in a deep breath, trying to use his words carefully.

Eve nodded, but had a concerned look on her face. “Who told you that? Who convinced you that you were this evil monster? Was it her? Lucifer, whatever she told you, you’re not—” 

“The Detective never did such a thing,” he growled back. “I hated who I used to be way before I met her. All she did was show me how to be good. How to be the best man that I wanted to be.”

Eve gulped and nodded again, trying to understand what he was saying, but not seeming to catch on. “But, Lucifer, if she can’t accept you for you really are, is that even a friend at all?”

Accepting him for who he really was? She encouraged him to be who he really was. She was the one to tell him that it was okay to not keep up this devilish image of himself that people had created in their minds, just because those people expected it. She was the one who told him that emotions didn’t make him any weaker. He suddenly thought about all those little lessons that Chloe had taught him through the years of working with her. By being her partner, she showed him what true justice was; that it wasn’t just violence and revenge that he had come to accept in Hell. She taught him how to be patient and how to be empathetic. By watching her relationship with her daughter, he learned what a good parent actually was, something he never had. She taught him how to think about others for once in his life, like she did every day, like the selfless woman she was. All those lessons weren’t taught on purpose, nor did she know she was even teaching them; it was just her good soul rubbing off on him. Lucifer would rather go back to Hell than have to continue on living on Earth without watching her truly angelic example.

“But you’re wrong, Eve,” he said. “That’s not who I really am. Or at least not anymore. I like this man that I’ve become. But you’re not in love with that man. You’re in love with the man from the Garden. I’m sorry, but he’s gone.” Lucifer searched her eyes for an understanding, but it still looked unknown to her. She looked everywhere except at him, shifting her focus and blinking, like she was trying to wake up from a dream. “Eve, I’m sorry, but this needs to stop. We need to break up.”

Eve let out a small laugh and shook her head. She finally moved her eyes to his and asked, “How could you say that I’m not in love with the man you are today? I’ve done everything to try and please you! I’ve made friends with your friends…I’ve tried to help you with your police work…”

“That’s just it, Eve. You shouldn’t have to change for me,” he pleaded with her to understand. “And I shouldn’t have to change either,” he whispered.

She nodded in agreement. “Exactly, Lucifer! You shouldn’t feel obligated to change because of—”

“You, Eve. Not the Detective, nor anyone else that I’ve met in Los Angeles. I’ve changed because of you. I’ve returned back to this person I hate more than anything in the world to please you! I convinced myself that because you loved that person, and you’re the only person who’s ever loved me, that my true self was unlovable.” His eyes began to sting, but he held back the tears. Crying would just make her cry, and that was the last thing Lucifer wanted. “So, I became that Devil again. I became that irresponsible, vile, selfish person that I was for eons, all because I was so desperate to have someone want me for a change.” Lucifer didn’t realize it, but he was almost shouting at the end. Eve’s eyes were still holding his. Her hands and jaw were trembling, both unsure of what to do with themselves.

“Luce..”

“Eve, please. Just go,” he said quietly, unable to get his point across anymore without breaking down in front of her.

“But, Lucifer…” Her hand reached towards his arm, but Lucifer jerked back and his eyes flashed red.

“Leave! Now!” He shouted at her in an abnormally deep tone.

Eve gasped and jumped back. Chloe hadn’t done that earlier. She had gotten in his face and showed him the same craze that he had. Chloe wasn’t afraid; she was angry. Her eyes held his with confidence, despite the tears that caused her to have to blink and look away because of the sting. Lucifer was a raging flame in that moment, but Chloe was a match. He had never seen that look on her face before. It was terrifying. Like she saw some truth for the first time that she’d been denying. It was so much worse than all those other moments when Lucifer thought he saw her at her worst. It was worse than when Chloe found out that Malcom had Trixie, worse than when her father’s killer walked free, worse than when Cain broke her heart, worse than when she saw his devil-face for the first time…None of those tragic moments in her life compared to whatever she realized earlier with Lucifer.

He wasn’t sure when Eve had quietly grabbed her purse and pattered away from him, but the elevator doors were closing with her weeping behind them. Lucifer couldn’t even find it in himself to feel sorry for what he just did. He just kept thinking about her.

He had to do something. Apologize, admit to everything and promise to change, blame it on Eve or his father, argue with her again just as an excuse for him to hear his name come off her lips one more time. Anything. He couldn’t sit there and fathom the dark fact that he would never see her again.

He finished the whiskey off and then topped it again. He finished it.

Damn, he missed that burn in his throat.

He chucked the glass across the bar, hitting several bottles in its wake. Amber liquid and shards of glass glimmered in the air as it exploded in front of him.

His breaths came more quickly, his chest caving in and out sharply. His hands attached themselves to his hair and pulled nervously. His teeth grinded together, making the sides of his jaw sore. He could tell that his eyes weren’t red anymore, but that they were filled with tears. Tears that were now escaping their hold and flowing freely down his cheeks, and then down his neck. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down.

Chloe, Chloe, Chloe.

She was all over his mind. Everything about her. Her warmth, and the way that it seemed like a star was brewing inside her. Her hair that shined like thin strands of different shades of gold when it hit the sun. Her heart, and how it seemed to break just a little every time they’d visit a new crime scene, for reasons Lucifer found unknown. Her kindness. Her beauty. Her laughter, which was laughter that made Lucifer laugh with her, just for the opportunity to share that moment of joy with her. The way she’d lightly place her hands on his to let him know that she was there, no matter what, but never expected anything in return. Her bravery. Her stubbornness and sheer unwillingness to quit until everything was solved. Her massive intelligence. Her body. Her lame jokes and horrible taste in music. The blue in her eyes that reminded him of every beautiful blue he'd ever seen on Heaven and Earth. Everything he loved about her.

Loved. He loved her. He was in love with her.

Lucifer didn’t seem to have control over his body. It moved quickly to the elevator, through the vibrating Lux crowd, and then to his car. He didn’t have a plan. He didn’t know what he was going to say, or if he was going to knock or barge right in, like he usually did. He didn’t even know if she’d be home. But he had to see her again. Even if it risked her slamming the door in his face or calling him a monster, he just had to be close to her. Feel vulnerable again.

Lucifer sped through the L.A. traffic much like he did earlier, but this time with tears coming out of his eyes every once in a while and her directly on his mind.


	3. Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took me a while! Thank you so much for the sweet comments!

She had to stop twice on her way home. Tears flooded her eyes to their full capacity, making her vision too blurry to focus on stoplights and headlights at once. She was thankful that Dan had taken Trixie for the weekend. Her daughter didn’t need to see her mom be such a mess over this. Over nothing. It wasn’t like Lucifer and her were dating… What was she so upset about? She let out another long raggedy breath as she finally placed her car in park at her apartment. 

She had spent an hour cleaning, scrubbing everything in sight with an old bristle pad and some soap. Nothing in particular needed cleaning, but she couldn’t get herself to try and go to bed. She wasn’t ready for the second wave of tears that was bound to follow once her head hit the pillow. So, despite it being ten at night, she re-scrubbed everything again. The sink, the stovetop, the table, the floorboards, the counter, everything; until her arm began to ache and her head began to pound. Deciding to give into the call of her bed, she put the cleaning supplies back in the closet and washed her hands. She flipped off the lights. As she made her way upstairs, she heard one light knock on the door. It was so gentle that if the dishwasher had been running or the television would’ve been on, Chloe wouldn’t have heard it. She turned slowly on the step she was on and stared at the door. She knew who had to be on the other side.

She wanted to see Lucifer. Of course she did. But the responsible part of her told her that it was a bad idea. That he would easily be able to worm his way back into her life, even though she knew it wasn’t healthy for him to keep crawling back to her when things got rough. Chloe was selfish, though. Even though she knew that Lucifer needed something other than her, even if he was unaware of that, Chloe was too weak to not give into what she wanted. So, despite her head screaming that she was an idiot, Chloe walked to the door and opened it to him.

Lucifer was standing there looking worse than he ever had. He slumped in his stance, something he never did, making him look shorter and his shoulders less broad. It made him look weaker, or as weak as Lucifer could look. His hair was disheveled, like he’d been running his fingers through it, or like someone else had been. Chloe shot that thought down immediately. No need to get irrationally angry at that. He was dating Eve. She needed to accept that. Even though it was dark and the only light came from the dim lamp outside and the stars in the sky, she could see that his eyes were their normal brown, but around them red, from what looked like tears and harsh wiping at the skin. He didn’t even wear a jacket, just a light gray button-up with a few buttons at the top opened.

Lucifer looked baffled, like he hadn’t expected her to open the door.

Neither of them said anything. Part of Chloe was still angry, and she guaranteed that part of him still was too, even though he was probably here to apologize. He wasn’t looking at her in the eyes, and Chloe refused to let him. She just stood there with her arms crossed waiting for him to say something.

For a moment, the scene amused her. They had a massive fight, one that Chloe was convinced was the final moment in their partnership, yet Lucifer had shown up at her door. Ready to apologize for his actions and for her to pet him on the head. ‘Good devil,’ she remembered the term Lucifer had teased her with a while ago. Then, there would be a happy ending. Lucifer would break up with Eve and officially ask Chloe out, and nothing would fuck it up this time. No past girlfriends or phone calls or major celestial secrets being exposed, but they’d truly finally have their moment. But Chloe was smart, realistic. She knew that even if he was about to spill his guts and to admit that he’d been wrong, Chloe had to the right thing. She had to think about him.

“I broke up with Eve,” he said, quietly and tentatively, almost like he was afraid of her response.

This confused her. Not because it went along with her happy ending scenario, but because she was confused at what he wanted from that statement. Did he break up with Eve because he genuinely saw that she was a bad influence? Did he do it just to please Chloe? Did he expect Chloe to throw herself at him in happiness or relief? Chloe wasn’t going to lie to herself—she was selfishly thrilled that they were finally over—but she wanted to know if he did for the right reasons.

“What am I supposed to say to that?” She whispered.

She saw him shrug his shoulders and heard a light laugh. “I don’t know,” he whispered back. 

A breeze flew past him and in through the doorway, causing Chloe to shiver. It was unnaturally cold for a Los Angeles night, and Chloe couldn’t help but notice how it fit the mood of the situation. She didn’t want to invite him in yet; that would be an offer to stay longer. As much as she wanted that, she had to think solely about Lucifer and what he needed right now.

“It was never her, Detective, to answer your question earlier. Eve didn’t make me into this person. She was just in love with the man I used to be. The one that she met in the Garden. She loved the man who swooped into her life irresponsibly and unexpectedly, just to piss off his father. And I did everything I could to be that man again, to keep that love she had for me, because I loved that feeling of being wanted and needed. I loved being loved. I’ve never felt that before, Detective. She made me feel special. But you,” he hesitated before he went on.

Chloe wished in that moment that she could properly see into the depths of his irises, to try and understand the feeling he was trying to convey. His words did hurt and discourage her a little. If Lucifer enjoyed the relationship so much, the last thing Chloe wanted was for him to end things for her sake. All she wanted for him was happiness, and if that was Eve, then so be it. She just hoped that Eve could help him see who he truly was. The real Lucifer, and not this façade that he kept up recently.

“Tonight, you made me realize that I never loved Eve. I just loved the way she made me feel. At first, I thought that she made me feel good about myself, but then I came to a realization. You, I mean, helped me come to a realization. I realized that I just was conforming to what she wanted. I saw the love in her eyes when we’d talk about the past, and I realized that I would’ve done anything to feel something like that again. So, I went back to that person. To that soulless monster who did everything to only please himself. To the man who was reckless and didn’t care about who he hurt. I hurt you. I became the Devil again. And now I understand that I never did that because I was scared that she wouldn’t accept me for the man I am now, but because I was scared that you wouldn’t.” His voice was rough and his words were quick at the end, like he had to huff the words out before his throat closed up completely.

Chloe was at a loss for words again. She’d heard what he said, and but wished for him to repeat it, so she could re-analyze everything. Another cool breeze blew past him and onto her bare limbs and she shivered, so she widened the door and motioned for him to step inside. Her head called her an idiot again, this time louder.

He hesitated, maybe him too understanding that it was a bad idea for both of them, but took small steps inside anyway. Chloe shut the door slowly and flipped the lightswitch, still thinking about what he meant. What did he mean that he didn’t know if Chloe would accept him for the man he was? That was the man she just begging for him to return to. Her favorite man. Her partner, her best friend. Of course she accepted him for who he was.

“Lucifer…”

“Please, Detective. I know I don’t deserve it, but allow me to finish. Please,” he begged.

Chloe could now see his face properly, and it broke her heart. His skin was red and looked like he’d been rubbing it abrasively. His impossibly long eyelashes looked darker than usual, the remnants of tears hanging off them. The hysterical look in his eyes reminded her of that one time he’d gone days without sleep, because he feared that he was murdering people while sleepwalking. She was so irritated with Lucifer during that case. If only she would’ve known how much simpler everything was then. How ignorance was truly bliss.

Chloe stayed silent and waited for him to continue.

“I became that horrible person again, not because of Eve, but because I was terrified of being alone again. After you saw my devil-face and left, I thought my true self was unlovable. I thought that if you, this perfect and innocent human woman who I’ve conjured up feelings for over the years, couldn’t accept me at my truest form, no one could. Which is why I held onto Eve. But I know now that it wasn’t my devil-face that turned you away or the fact that I was really the Devil; it was the man I was turning into. Detective, I have never, in my entire existence, have held someone closer than I’ve held you. I know it doesn’t feel like that a lot of the time, and I know that I’ve messed things up recently, but I just…”

When the first set of tears escaped his eyes, Chloe tore hers away from him. She couldn’t watch him break down like that. It hurt too much. She looked at the floor below them, the ceiling above them, the night sky outside the window, the drawing that Trixie made of all three of them on the fridge. But nothing seemed distracting enough.

“When I met you, it was like eons of weight being lifted off my shoulders. Like someone was finally there telling me it was okay to lean on them. I know that you didn’t ask for any of this, Detective. I know that you never wanted or planned on having all this celestial bullshit happen in your life. And for that, I’ll forever be sorry that I dragged you into it—“

“You didn’t drag me into anything, Lucifer,” Chloe finally spoke up. “I mean, yeah, it was a shock when I found out that all your crazy metaphors were true, but I stayed by your side for those first three years because I liked you, Lucifer. You were my friend. I liked having you, Lucifer Morningstar, as my best friend. Not the Devil. You. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into the moment I met you.”

Lucifer looked away from her and bit his bottom lip. Chloe could tell he was trying to hold back more tears. He was still trying to be strong in front of her. Why? Chloe wondered.

“Remember that night you touched the scars on my back and I asked you to stop?” he asked, his voice low and in a choke.

Chloe nodded, trying to find his eyes now, trying to make him feel more comfortable, because she remembered how uncomfortable he looked in that moment.

Lucifer took a breath to steady himself. “I was so afraid of you.”

Afraid of her? Chloe was confused. She remembered vividly how terrified Lucifer had looked that night. She remembered how impossibly fast he snatched her hand away, and the way his voice broke when he asked her not to touch him. It had broken Chloe’s heart, and the memory still did today. At the time, Chloe assumed that the scars just triggered a bad memory in him, like when she used to think that his dad did it to him. But now she understood that those scars were connected to his identity and who he wanted to be, and Lucifer’s identity was everything to him.

When he began to speak again, his voice was shaking and tears were now streaming down his cheeks and into his scruff. “I knew in that moment that something was different. That you were different. That you held some kind of power over me. I knew that you were going to be able to break me so easily, and I was terrified of that, because for the first time in my life, I felt powerless in comparison to you. I felt vulnerable, more vulnerable than when I found out that I could bleed around you. I looked into your eyes and saw someone who could crush me. But no matter how much I tried, I couldn't stay away from you.” His voice was at a whisper at the end.

Chloe now gave into her tears and let them stream down her face, in a similar fashion to the way his were. She couldn’t find an ounce of anger that was left in her, not an ounce of that determination and will-power that she told herself to hold on to. How could she? Here he was, being more open and vulnerable with her than he ever had. Than she could’ve ever imagined he would be with her. She’s been asking for this forever, reminding him that she was there. That she was a shoulder to cry on, that no matter how chaotic his life seemed to get, she would be his constant.

“And then you left,” he said. That broke Chloe in an instant.

Of course he held that against her. Chloe didn’t blame him. She had always told him that she would be there for him when he needed a friend, and the one time he did, she ran away. Chloe hated herself for that, and wondered if that feeling was ever going to stop.

“I don’t hold it against you for leaving, Chloe. I never have and never will. But it confirmed everything I was afraid of from the beginning. I was powerless against you, and you crushed me. You, a human woman, utterly destroyed every wall I had built around myself. And you did it so graciously, I couldn’t even find it in myself to be angry at you. You defeated the Devil. You are the most kind, selfless, intelligent, beautiful, and utterly terrifying woman I know, Chloe Decker. I fell in love with you, and it destroyed me.” He fell to his knees before Chloe could react. She could hear his kneecaps make a sharp, alarming noise against the floorboards. His head hung low and looked at the ground, tears splashing down on his pantlegs and the floor. Chloe rushed over to him, instinctively. As selfish as it may be, Chloe couldn’t look at his eyes just yet. She couldn’t handle that right now, after what he had just confessed. So, instead, she placed her hands in his hair and held his head gently against her warm abdomen. She rubbed her fingers against his scalp and tried to calm his shuddering sobs that racked through his body. His hands rested lightly on the backs of her legs, clinging onto her. She could feel the stubble on his jaw poke through her thin shirt and tickle her stomach.

“Shh,” she whispered to him, still trying to take in what he just said.

He had fallen in love with her. He loved her. Just as she loved him. As dark and unappealing the moment was, Chloe felt lighter at that. She felt her heartrate pick up speed and butterflies dance through her lower stomach, much like the way it felt when they kissed or when he gave her one of his rare Lucifer hugs. It was sick for her to feel happy in this moment, but to know that all those moments between them that she held close to heart were not meaningless to him; it truly made her happy. 

She clutched at his hair as a sob racked through her own body, trying not to fall out of his grasp. “Lucifer,” she whispered. She wasn’t saying it to get his attention, but to just say it out of sheer relief. Relief that they were together, connecting and forgiving each other in their own way. She was so in love with this man.

Finally choosing her words, she moved her hands to his wet jaw and forced his eyes to hers. She lowered herself down to the ground so that their knees were now touching each other. His chocolate eyes looked like Chloe could dive into them and swim deeper for hours and hours. How long she had wanted to get lost in those eyes. 

“Lucifer,” she whispered, getting her thoughts on track. “I was never afraid of you, Lucifer. I was afraid that you were going to doubt yourself and become the Devil that you hate so much. I’m not sure when exactly I fell in love with you, but I know that it's been for a while and that I've been denying it to myself, because I was afraid too. I never loved Pierce. I used him to shove down the feelings I had for you. I lied to myself and told myself that I was over you, because I was so scared that you didn’t feel the same way, and rejection from you was going to kill me,” she said, rubbing her fingers against his jaw, memorizing the way it flexed when he took deep breaths in through his mouth, just in case this was the last time she'd do it. He was looking at her like she wasn’t real, like she was a dream. She had to convince him that this was real, that her feelings for him were real. Everything was real. “You are the most amazing man I have ever met. You’re strong. You're so brave; nothing scares you. That was one of the first things I admired about you. You're incredibly smart and have made me such a better detective. You’re beautiful and gentle and kind, no matter how much you refuse to see it in yourself. You have the most contagious laugh and smile. You brighten everyone’s day, and not because you set out to do it, but because that’s just who you are. You're good, truly good. Everything about you. Lucifer, you’re the best man I’ve ever met. I love you so much.” She was surprised at herself at how confidently she expressed this to him. She cradled his face like it was a delicate piece of artwork that she could destroy with the snap of her fingers. He continued to stare, like he hadn't heard any of what he just said.

Startling her, his hands shot out to her waist and pulled her flesh against him. She straddled him, her arms wrapping around his neck in a tight embrace while his locked behind her back. She wasn't sure whose lips were seeking out whose, but they found each other quickly. It felt like they were breathing in each other, exchanging their warm air between their lungs. The kiss was rougher than the other two they'd shared together, but somehow his lips seemed smoother. Warmer. She could feel his stubble against her face more prominently, and she wished she could feel the scrape of that stubble for the rest of her life. She knotted her fingers through his hair, not caring to mess it up more than he already had that night. Chloe pulled her hips closer to his, and they both let out a sharp moan.

She wasn't sure how real this moment was. She wasn't sure if this was something they were going to talk about in the morning. It felt too good to be true. There was always something in the way of them, and now that there was nothing, no secrets to come unexpectedly tumbling out, it was scary. Terrifying. But being here, wrapped up in the strong cage of Lucifer's arms, she had never felt safer. There was never a place she desired to be more. She could feel through the emotion of his kiss that he felt the same way, and that made her heart warm.

Their lips parted after some time, but they stayed there for a long while, wrapped in each other's arms on her apartment floor. She could still feel a few of his tears hitting her shoulder, and every time one did she brushed the hair at the nape of his neck and cooed softly into his ear, "You're okay. Shh. I'm right here." She promised to always be there, for however long they both had together. He promised her the same and held her tighter to him. Neither of them thought about what they were going to be tomorrow, but lived through each other in that singular moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all liked it! Let me know what you think! ilysm

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! My Lucifer stan account on Twitter is @/samaelslut if you want to read more of my short Lucifer banter. (I'm always up for a part two if y'all want lol).


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